It killed me to pack my things and leave.
My husband and I had decided to divorce.
I was moving out of the house that I had made a home for 17+ years.
It's where the kids grew up.
It is the place where potty training happened, and late night nursings.
It's where Santa and the Tooth Fairy visited.
It's where the swing set and sandbox resided, and where birthday candles were blown out.
The only home the kids had really known, and I was with them
One night I lived there... the next night I did not.
Friends showed up, we put my stuff in a pick-up, and I moved into my 2 bedroom apartment.
It was scary,
and - NECESSARY -
all at the same time.
My heart broke that my marriage dreams were falling apart; that my family would not all be under the same roof anymore.
I worried about my kids.
Would they be okay?
I worried if they would come to my new home?
And yet, I was no longer in a place (a relationship) where I was forced to compromise... about every thing.
Taking the first step to honor me...
That part felt free.
After 23 years of being a wife and mother, there were very few moments I was ever actually alone.
And now there were several nights a week that I was ALL ALONE.
It was confusing. It was awkward.
I remember sobbing in the shower one night. So loudly.
And then I remember Kelly Clarkson.
She sang to me... and then we sang together...
She sang a song I had never heard before and it spoke to me. So loudly.
"The War is Over"
She told me "The War is Over"
And it was truth.
In the shower that night I felt relief.
I knew I still had a lot to figure out.
I knew it wasn't going to be easy.
I knew I still had some fights to have -
But, THE war was over.
The war that had been tearing me apart.
The war that forced me to compromise my beliefs and my being.
This was not my surrender.
This was me choosing to fight for me.
This was me deciding to put my energy into fights that were worth fighting.
So what did I start fighting for?
?I fought to become a student of how to have a better life.
?I fought my own ugly self-talk and learned how to begin practicing self-care.
?I fought to learn how to not live paycheck to paycheck.
❤️I fought to discover my personal value. I learned that I do not have to settle.
?I fought to release self-limiting beliefs and do brave things. I got a new job. I learned new skills. I became a Life Coach.
?I started a business.
?I learned how to start getting the results I wanted and to not be a victim of my circumstances.
If any of my story resonates with you, connect with me. I want to teach you the skills I have learned. I'd love to hear your story and help you navigate your journey to get the results you want.
I've included the link below to the song, just incase you are curious.
Thank you Kelly!